HOW IT FEELS TO BE A STUDENT

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This afternoon I had the experience of being a student again, one who had been doing something the wrong way for over 11 years and had to overcome all those bad habits and learn the correct way of doing something.  It was not a fun experience, it actually was a pretty good blow to my ego.

I knew that I wasn’t doing it right, but I didn’t want others to know that I didn’t really know what I was doing.  In the past I sort of asked or let others “show” me how to do it, but no one really took the time to show me correctly.  They gave a quick 1-2 minute explanation or a quick demonstration and gave me that look that teachers give our students.  That one where “I showed you how, now go and do it yourself, now leave me alone” look.  So I would walk away making believe that I understood what they had just showed me, even though I didn’t have a clue about how to do it right.

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This afternoon I asked my brother-in-law to show me how to sharpen my chainsaw and he took about two hours to show me the proper way to sharpen it.  First he explained what he was going to do, then showed me (while continuing to talk me through the process) and finally made me actually sharpen a complete chain by myself, checking my work and providing guidance on what I was doing wrong and providing feedback when I got it right.

At first this was pretty frustrating for me, I am a pretty typical guy.  I don’t like to ask for help and then to have someone else tell me how badly I had messed it up on my own was a blow to my ego.  While we were doing it, his teaching showed me how to do it easier and correctly, so that when I used my chainsaw again, the chain would be sharp and cut correctly (without having to go out and buy a new chain).  My previous efforts only accomplished about half of what they should have and may have ruined the chain and the chain bar – we both believe that I have to buy new ones before I put too many more hours on my saw. 

Then he had the audacity to stand there and continue to correct my style and ensue that I was continuing to sharpen the chain correctly.  That was the hardest part for me – that he didn’t just walk away and let me flounder on my own as had been done in the past, which I would have preferred – who wants someone commenting on their work, especially when I kept going back to the way I shouldn’t be doing it.  His doing this was the right thing to do and now I can correctly sharpen a chainsaw – I might be slower than others, but how quick I do it is less important than doing it correctly.

This sounds pretty familiar to me, because I think this is how most of my students are when it comes to reading and writing.

Tonight I have a personal connection to understanding how my students feel in school.  Most of them have been reading and writing using strategies that they have learned on their own, which they are able to get by with, but not easily or proficiently as most others can and they know it.  The when they ask for help, they get some, but not enough to correct the problem, which exacerbates the issue and makes it so they don’t want to ask for help again and look ignorant or stupid to others.  No wonder when someone wants to teach them how to: read, write, do math or whatever,  they bristle up when that person doesn’t go away, continues to correct and push them to do it correctly.  Their past failures and personal pride get in the way of accepting the guidance they actually need.  In other words like I did today, they get pretty frustrated with the person who is actually trying to help them.

It showed me that I need to:

• slow down and ensure that my students actually do understand how or can do what I am asking them to - not just assume that they do,
• to take the time necessary to ensure that they do,
•  not rush through a lesson to move one (which I am guilty of this year),
• be helpful but persistent in expecting the student to do it right
• be in the moment, not thinking about what to do next
• don’t give that look “why don’t you understand what I am trying to show you look” and have the student shut down.

I have to remember that my classes are all Special Education and I have the prerogative and obligation to go as slow as I need to, to ensure that my students actually understand and know how to do what I am trying to teach. They don’t deserve to be taught in the same manner that they have in the past or how they are taught in regular education, they have the right to be taught in the manner that best fits their individual needs that is why it called specialized instruction.  I am not bound to cover material at the same rate as my Regular Education Counterparts are required to, but I am required to teach to the needs of my students.   I think that sometimes we as teachers forget that in our efforts to meet arbitrary timelines.

Who ever thought that re-learning how to sharpen a chainsaw would re-focus me on teaching methods that I need to include in my classroom.  I am glad it did.

Thank you Phil.

Remember it is about the kids – not you or me.